You’re doing it on your own right now, but few women or men do it deeply enough for good health, and practicing it well can make your whole life better.
It’s breathing.
Most women take shallow breaths, from their throat. More often than not, they are trying to hold their stomach in, to look thinner. This constricts the chest, which should be expanding for healthy breaths. Also, they are so used to wearing tight clothes and hardly breathing. But the best breathing is “belly breathing” where the belly would expand to look like a big pouch, and even like a pregnancy.
A worse problem, I know as an expert, women tend to hold their breath in intimate encounters. But breathing deeply and regularly, filling the chest with air, and expanding the stomach, accesses primal intimate feelings, greater relaxation, and stronger peaks of pleasure.
Deep belly breathing brings life and aliveness to the body. The deeper the air gets through the body, the more alive you feel. Deep breathing even can lead to euphoria and more intense intimacy and love.
Oxygen is important to get to all the cells for better health and movement of the muscles, and also to allow emotions to emerge and greater pleasure to be expressed.
Here are different types of breathing exercises to do. Correct breathing involves re-educating the entire nervous system and practice.
(1) to relax, inhale to the count of three and exhale slower, to the count of four. Repeat a few times.
(2) to get more energized, inhale more than your exhale. For example, inhale to the count of four and exhale to the count of three
It is important to take a big breath. Here are three simple practices for bigger breath.
(1) The Source of Life. Notice where in your body your breath is coming. Is it from your throat, chest, stomach area? Make a deliberate effort to make it come from deeper down in your body. With each breath, trace the breath and bring your hand to where it stops before you exhale. Lower your hand and make the breath come from as low down as your genitals? That is key to firing up your sex energy.
(2) Egg to Eagle. Do this when sitting. Exhale as you crunch down into a ball, bringing your elbows in close to your body and resting your hands gently on the back of your head. Feel the stretch across and down your back along your spine. Inhale, lifting up slowly and stretch to bring your elbows as far back behind you as you can. Feel the stretch in your chest, throw your chest out and arch your back. Feel all the air rushing into your lungs.
(3) The Bellows. The goal of this exercise is to take in as much air as possible by imagining that your lungs are a bellows. Keep your arms comfortably by your side. Blow all your air out forcefully, making a loud “whoosh” and then suck in as much air as possible with as much noise. Continue, taking longer breaths and making louder noises. Feel better already? (These are sounds you will eventually do during sexual experiences – freer sounds allow more intense sexual responses.)
Now there are two breathing techniques to bring you to ecstasy.
(1) The fire breath. Inhale and exhale fast through the nose, faster and faster. You may need a tissue as your nose may drip. Move your arms up and down to accelerate the breathing. Do this to the count of 10. Relax to the count of five and then inhale the fire breath to the count of ten again.
(2) “Ecstatic Breathing.” Lie on your back, with knees up and feet on the floor. Inhale long, slow breaths through the mouth or nose, counting to five, expanding the abdomen and creating a little archway under the small of the back. Exhale to the count of five, bringing the back to the floor and tilting the pelvis slightly upwards.
Allow the air to rush into the chest, and throat, opening the throat wide, as during a doctor’s examination. Repeat these actions rhythmically, to create a wavelike motion throughout the body.
Be aware of chronic tension or constriction in the throat, jaw, neck, chest, shoulders, abdomen, buttocks, hips and pelvic region. Squinting of the eyes, or restricting the lips, tongue, arms, hands, legs or feet can also inhibit breathing. Release tension by purposefully tightening and then releasing the muscles in these areas.
Allow feelings and sounds (sadness, anger, joy) to emerge on the exhale, and express them freely.
After you learn to breathe on your own, you can breathe with a partner, to open up to more love and intimacy as the exchange of breath between partners facilitates a deep connection within yourself, with your partner, and ultimately with the universe.
Practice this breathing in your imagination before doing with a partner. Imagine inhaling and exhaling together to a count of five. Next, create a circle of breath as you inhale while your partner exhales, establishing a comfortable rhythm together. The level of arousal can be increased or decreased by the pace of the breath rhythm and movements. This creates a circle of your breathe that intensifies your feeling connected and in love.
Despite the romantic phrase, “you take my breath away,” which means that you would be so excited by your partner that you would STOP breathing, the best intimacy experience is when you breathe deeply and regularly, and not HOLD your breath!
Dr.Judy Kuriansky, Ph.D.
